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TRUTH BOMB: The Real Reason You Can’t Find Purpose (& 3 Things To Do Instead)

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Today I’m getting REAL about finding your purpose including the #1 mistake people make that leaves you feeling overwhelmed, lost, and confused, and the 3 things you can do today to get back on track…

Hey Posse! What’s up? It’s Alex. 

If you’re new to the crew, welcome! This blog is here to bring you the latest in marketing, copywriting, and freelancing tips… with a little sprinkle of inspiration and motivation every now and then…

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Now today’s blog post is going to be a little different from my normal content…

And that’s because I want to get real with you for a hot minute.

You see, I’ve been a copywriter in the personal development space for over 10 years now…

And I got a bit of beef to pick with this whole idea of “finding your purpose”—or at least how glamorized the idea has become recently.

While I truly believe that we all have a purpose – I think it evolves over time, based on our current set of values, needs, and desires.

I don’t think it’s just ONE thing… like the holy grail of happiness and if you can’t find it, you’re clueless, worthless, or hopeless.

Of course, it’s easy to think (and sell) that the purpose is black and white—either you’ve found it or you haven’t…

But I think we’re all smart enough to realize that nothing is that simple. Especially when it comes to the complex multi-dimensional and constantly evolving beings we are as humans.

The thing about purpose that the mainstream isn’t telling you is that…

Purpose isn’t something you magically “find” and then you’re done.

It’s not a gold chalice hidden deep in a mountainside temple… nor will it dawn on you in a single serendipitous moment. 

That’s the Hollywood version of purpose. And while it’s true, some people DO discover their purpose in quick life-defining moments…

For the majority of us, it’s usually much less glamorous… and it happens gradually and very organically over time—NOT after reading a 5-step purpose book.  

Purpose is something that reveals itself to you as you step into the person you’re meant to become. It evolves over time, and grows and changes as you grow and change.

So in today’s blog post, I’m going to share 3 things you can do to start exploring your purpose and stepping into who you are meant to become…

And at the end of this article, I’m going to talk a bit about the #1 detrimental mistake that I—unfortunately—see a lot of people making…

Now, let’s get started with tip #1.  

#1 – Get Uncomfy!

Yes, get uncomfortable. Step outside your comfort zone. Don’t be afraid of trying something new.

One of my favorite quotes ever is:

“Self-doubt is the killer of dreams”

Oftentimes, we confuse being inexperienced at something with not being good at something, and so we don’t even try it in fear of failing or not being good enough.

But, like one of my students brilliantly said once: “Don’t be the person to tell yourself no.” 

Another one of my favorite quotes, by Joe Vitale, is “A great goal should scare you a little and excite you a lot.” And to me, that has always been the litmus test as to whether or not I’m gonna try something.

Fear is normal and natural when venturing into the unknown. Once you let that fear get in your way, and prevent you from trying that thing you’re interested in… 

Well, then you’re guaranteed to NOT succeed. 

So, I’ll give you an example. When I first found out about the job at Mindvalley, the internship that I applied for over 10 years ago, everything in me was making up reasons why it wouldn’t work.

It was in Malaysia, they were only hiring super-smart tech wizards. There was no way that I would get the job.

I had a university degree and was planning to go to law school, and how would I give up law school to go overseas? I had commitments, right?

And no matter where you’re at in your life, it’s really easy for us to negotiate with ourselves and come up with reasons to not do something.

So anytime you’re feeling that little like “Ooh, nope, there’s no way I can do it.” Ask yourself: Is that true? 

Can I not do it or is there a way that I can lean into this and give it a try?

You never know what is on the other side.

So do me a favor, get uncomfy, lean in, and hey, you’ll find out really fast if that is your path or not.

And if it’s not, you pivot and you keep on going. 

Because you can’t succeed at something if you don’t try it. 

We need to start leaning into the things that scare us

Oftentimes, the things that scare us are the very things that are meant to grow us and push us into the path of our purpose. 

#2 – Follow Your Interests & Talents

This is an exercise I have ALL my students do… Make a list of everything you’re interested in. 

What do people say you’re really good at?

And before you say, “Alex, I am not good at anything.” I’m gonna stop you right there, this is your moment to do a little self-brag session.

Nobody else has to see this note or this list, but you. Write down what you’re great at and what you enjoy doing.

Think of how you feel at your natural best. Think about things that you’ve done before that have gotten results, because here’s the thing…

Purpose is born from passion. And passion is born from… INTEREST. 

It might not be very romantic. But before you find your purpose, you first have to know your interests.  

So ask yourself…

  • What’s an interest you have that you keep coming back to again and again?
  • What things do you lose track of time while doing? 

Once you have a list of some interests… start pursuing them! Invest in them. Surround yourself with teachers, mentors, and peers who do the same thing. 

Eventually, you’ll naturally lean more towards one or two interests over any other. And then what you have is MOMENTUM.

You learn you do, you learn, you do. You gain experience. You get better.

You get farther down that path, that momentum of interest creates passion.

And then that passion can lead to a purpose that is so fulfilling and exciting, and maybe not one that you saw from the very beginning.

#3 – Think Beyond Yourself

Don’t make it about YOU.

Of course, it’s about you—it’s your purpose, but…

Every job in the world can be reframed into an act of service that’s bigger than yourself. That’s right you don’t have to solve world hunger in order to have an epic purpose. 

Teachers, nurses, marketers, lab technicians, customer support workers, personal trainers, plumbers, chefs, snowplow drivers! Each and every one of those jobs serves a higher purpose! 

And the difference between a person who feels fulfilled in one of those roles, and a person who feels unfulfilled is… purpose! 

  • Do they believe they’re serving a greater purpose?
  • Do they see the positive impact and change they’re making in the world?

Once you shift your perspective from personal gratification and wanting to make more money or trying to satisfy family demands or expectations…  to a perspective of living with a purpose to serve others—everything changes.

And I’m not saying you shouldn’t care about money or you shouldn’t care about pleasing your family.

Those are all really important things, but as soon as you step out of yourself and think of the bigger picture, all of those things that cause a lot of anxiety within us actually disappear.

It’s simple really…

Spend less time trying to impress people. Spend more time helping people. 

Once you take yourself out of the equation, you’d be surprised how immediately a sense of purpose can enter your life. 

When you start to see the impact you have on others… it doesn’t matter if you’re a millionaire investor, art dealer, or gourmet baker—what matters is you’re doing what you love and you’re helping others along the way. 

It doesn’t matter if you’re perfect or the best at it. 

All that matters is you’re giving it your best. 

And now, the #1 mistake people make when seeking their purpose is…

JEALOUSLY

So, there’s a big difference between healthy comparison and jealousy or envy. 

Healthy comparison can inspire, but jealousy does nothing but sabotage your successSo whatever you do, stop looking at everyone else’s talent and wishing you had that same exact talent. 

Everyone’s talents look different!

Even if two people are both great copywriters they are NOT going to be great at it in the exact same way. So find your lane and STICK WITH IT. 

Above all, remember to have fun! Before you can be really good at something, you first have to be really bad at it. 

Trust the process. 

Nobody is perfect on the first try!

Be you, be messy, make mistakes! Help people, and hopefully, if you focus on those things, it really takes the pressure off finding your purpose.

And there you have it, I hope these tips can take some of the unrealistic “pressure to find your purpose” off your shoulders—and just have fun as you explore using them.

I’ll see you again next week with another one!

Until then, I’m Alex. Ciao for now!

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